Memory & Mood

Improving Communication with Older Adults — Tips for Family Members and Caregivers

Older adults are an important and growing segment of our society with wisdom to share and valuable life lessons to teach. Establishing and fostering positive, effective communication with the older adults in your life provides the foundation for a close and rewarding relationship. “All communication with older adults should be based on respect for their life experience,” says UAB Professor of Communication Studies Cecil G. Betros, Jr., D.Sc. “It’s also important to respect their autonomy as individuals and let them make their own decisions as much as possible.”

Dr. Betros — who has 30 years’ experience as a speech-language pathologist — offers these key tips for family members and caregivers to improve communication with the older adults in your life.

• Be aware of your assumptions about older adults. “When you’re communicating with older adults, it’s important to treat them as individuals — not stereotypes,” explains Dr. Betros. “For example, not all older adults are hearing impaired, so you don’t necessarily need to raise your voice when you speak. Instead, take the time to learn about their individual personalities and needs — instead of basing communication on preconceived ideas that may not be correct.”
• Don’t make all the decisions for the older adult in your life. “Too often, family members and caregivers assume the parenting role in their relationship with an older adult,” Dr. Betros says. “You can provide guidance and help when needed, but it’s important not to micro-manage and make every decision for an older person. Because they’ve often experienced a great deal of loss in their lives, older adults need to maintain their ability to make basic decisions for themselves as much as possible — it’s important that they not lose this ability.”
• Be patient, and allow extra time for communication. As people age, they function better at a slower pace. It’s important to remember that the older adult in your life will need extra time for many things — including communication. “People often get impatient with older adults because they are slower,” explains Dr. Betros. “Instead, older adults need to be given extra time to respond to questions and express their thoughts and needs. Take the time to listen to the older adults in your life — listen to their memories, ideas, and opinions. This is a meaningful way to show your love and respect.”